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The Sorting Hat comes to Gonzaga

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If you love Harry Potter and Gonzaga basketball, this is for you. If not, Repello Muggletum.

Universal Studios Hollywood Hosts The Opening Of 'The Wizarding World Of Harry Potter' - Inside Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images

Since the Zags are in Orlando for the Advocare Invitational, one would expect them to take advantage of the local offerings and check out The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

Then I started thinking, if the men’s team went to Hogwarts, which houses would they get sorted into? After consulting with the sorting hat, we have answers.

Gryffindor

You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart;
their daring, nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart

Zach Collins: The boy from Las Vegas can be Gonzaga’s boy who lived. Collins arrived at Gonzaga as one of its most highly touted recruits ever, much like a boy named Harry arrived at Hogwarts as the most famous wizard of his age. Collins has the ability to overcome any challenge on the basketball court, with polished post moves and the versatility to play inside and out. Collins, like members of this house, is a teamplayer but has the capacity to shine as an individual, and won’t shrink from the opportunity to do so.

Josh Perkins: For a guy who plays a fearless and aggressive style of basketball, Gryffindor is a natural fit. In the books Gryffindors are often expected to save the day, and last year Perkins was expected to step into the lineup and pick up the backcourt slack for the departed duo of Pangos and Bell. Things may have been a little rough at first when he was losing the ball as often as Gryffindors lose house points, but he’s started to blossom as his experience grows and can be counted on in a tough spot.

Rem Bakamus and Dustin Triano: Much like the Weasley twins, I couldn’t separate these two. Rem and Dustin seem like the spiritual descendants of Fred and George Weasley, just minus the red hair and neither one of them is missing an ear. Can’t wait for them to open up a basketball-themed joke shop when their time at Gonzaga is done.

Rui Hachimura: Talk about a guy we hope blossoms into a great one like Neville Longbottom, Rui has all the tools to be a great player but may need more time than some of his mates from the loaded 2016 recruiting class. Don’t sleep on him though, it won’t be long until he’s the one leading Dumbeldore’s Mark Few’s Army.

Hufflepuff

You might belong in Hufflepuff where they are just and loyal;
those patient Hufflepuffs are true, and unafraid of toil

Note: Hufflepuff is the low-key best house at Hogwarts, just ask J.K. Rowling who is on record as saying the ‘puffs are her favorite. In many ways, the traits they carry are ones we should all aspire to.

Przemek Karnowski: The big man embodies all the traits of a Hufflepuff. He’s kind, loyal and will never be heard saying negative things about his teammates, even in jest. I’ve also heard he takes the time to talk to visiting European students and their families who are touring campus. That’s true Hufflepuff spirit. On the court, Przemek is one of the best passing big men in college basketball, which fits the Hufflepuff way of being givers. Also, it doesn’t hurt that Hufflepuff’s common room is in the basement of Hogwarts...presumably near the kitchens. Przemek lost a ton of weight while recovering from back surgery, so it helps to have easy access to all of Hogwarts’ incredible food as he gets back to his ideal playing weight. Keep Hufflin’, big guy.

Jack Beach: He seems like a nice guy.

Bryan Alberts: Hufflepuffs are all about patience, which is what Alberts will need since Gonzaga is now loaded at the wings. A quiet guy who seems to go about his business without the need to call attention to himself, Alberts is another natural ‘puff.

Jeremy Jones: We don’t know too much about Jeremy Jones as his redshirt and then ankle injury have prevented him from making his Gonzaga debut. But he always bring great enthusiasm and alacrity to the cheerleading role he’s had to fill during his time as a Zag.

Ravenclaw

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, If you’ve a ready mind,
where those of wit and learning, will always find their kind

Nigel Williams-Goss: A serious student off the court and a highly intelligent point guard on it, Nigel is the type of cerebral and gifted player you want running the show. He seems unflappable on the court and is never rushed into a bad decision. Plus, he made the decision to leave Washington for Gonzaga, so he’s obviously smart. In a house that values wisdom and intelligence, Nigel’s a perfect fit.

Jordan Mathews: If you focus only on Mathews during a game, you’ll likely gain a deep appreciation for how well he understands the game. He’s skilled at manipulating defenses to create better opportunities for his teammates, and has a deep understanding of spacing and schemes to make himself a dangerous threat on the court. As an elite shooter, Mathews has committed the time to mind-numbing repetition to sharpen his skills. Off the court, Mathews is one of the more active members of the team in terms of raising issues on his Twitter, and you don’t have to guess how he feels about certain things. In a time where athletes talk a lot without saying anything at all, Mathews is refreshing.

Ryan Edwards: I get the sense that Ryan loves reading leather-bound books by a warm crackling fire. He probably would not have any problems answering the riddles that guard the entrance to the Ravenclaw’s common room.

Slytherin

Or perhaps in Slytherin, where you’ll meet your real friends, those cunning folks use any means, to achieve their ends.

Zach Norvell: The freshman’s game reflects an elegance and refinement which are traits enjoyed by Slytherins. Hailing from a traditional powerhouse high school program in Chicago, Norvell is accustomed to winning and won’t be very accepting of failure.

Johnathan Williams: Slytherins are resourceful, determined and cunning. Williams is the type of player who doesn’t need a play called for him, and is typically most effective when he’s using his instincts and persistence to battle for loose balls and position in the paint.

Silas Melson: Slytherins are often misunderstood, and the same could be said for Melson. He has a lot to offer on the court, but doesn’t always use those skills in the best way. A talented defender, Silas would probably be an ace at Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Killian Tillie: The freshman comes from an incredibly athletic family. His dad is a two-time Olympian and now the head coach of the French national volleyball team on which his brother also plays. His other brother plays basketball in the Spanish Liga ACB after a four-year career at the University of Utah, and his mom was the captain of the Dutch volleyball team. The pureblood athletic genes that course through his veins would likely place him amongst the Slytherin, the house that values the pureblood trait above all others. But, as a native of France, he’d end up going to school at Beauxbatons in the Pyrenees.

With the Zags now sorted in their houses, let’s hope they figure out how to use an Alohomora spell to unlock the defenses they’ll see this week.