FanPost

Criticism-free Mad Libs

The season is still mighty young, but already I've been noticing in recent comment threads a tired old mantra: "How dare you criticize Mark Few / Mike Hart / any Gonzaga player?? You have no right to attack them! You know nothing! Be grateful for what you have!" I find this one of the more insidious arguments around, as it both puts fallible humans on a sacred pedestal, and also attempts to silence any dissent or analysis.

But rather than rehashing this debate ad infinitum, I thought I'd present an alternative. It occurs to me that, if you find criticism of Gonzaga Men's Basketball offensive, then perhaps a website devoted to analysis, opinions and commentary on Gonzaga Men's Basketball might not be an ideal place for you. And yet, you still want and need that dose of Zaggery. Where can one turn? Where find all the glory, none of the negativity? I offer you the following paragraph for future usage, which can easily be user-modified to suit the vicissitudes of each game:


"Tonight, the Zags played [opponent], and [won/lost] by a final score of [xx-xx]. It was a hard-fought game, and our players left everything they had out on the floor. They sure are hardworking, nice young men. Coach Few coached a hell of a game, and did everything in his power to win. We are so lucky to have him! Besides, I am in no position to criticize him, since I am not Head Coach of Gonzaga Men's Basketball. True, it's too bad we coughed up [a/some/many] big lead[s], and got torched from the perimeter. But [we pulled out a win, and that's all that matters / that's the way the ball bounces sometimes.] This team truly is what it is. And while we haven't been to the Elite Eight since the Clinton Administration, we've won [11 straight] WCC titles. Those banners do not grow on trees. Count them! Eleven! And if you're still not satisfied, I [think you're a bad fan / think you should shut your mouth / have eleven WCC banners for you to shove in your mouth\elsewhere / insert angry ad hominem here]. We are so blessed. Zag up!"

 

Is there anything I missed?

This post does not reflect the views of the blog authors or SB Nation.

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